yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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