Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
