Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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