Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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