Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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