dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
