just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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