did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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