dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize