Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
