how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This baby is an asshole
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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