Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Someone came in the potted fern
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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