I think my vagina is haunted
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
