we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
