so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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