so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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