This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
