you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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