We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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