A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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