hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
