i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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