he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
