Acid is not a monday night drug
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
