theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
