I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize