I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
