Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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