You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
