Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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