He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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