i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just cropdusted the office
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
