I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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