i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize