would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Acid is not a monday night drug
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
