Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
