P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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