Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I want to fling myself into the sun
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
