no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
