from now on my penis is your penis
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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