I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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