i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
