its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
