i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
