speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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