please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
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My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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