Plan B is the new Plan A
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize