so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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