I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
