this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
