Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
