i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
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It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
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I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize