just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
