Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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