She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
