Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
