trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
