Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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