her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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